Irrational Fear...Oh and Other Things

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for a segment called "Lindsay's Irrational Fear of the Day".  I am prone to many fears, many of which are ridiculous and have no merit. For example, when I first started my weight loss journey last June, I worried that I would lose too much weight in my face.  What if my eyes, nose, and ears were only being held in place by deposits of fat in my cheeks?  If I lost all the deposits, would my eyes, nose, and ears then fall out of place leaving me to look like the Elephant Woman?? Well, the good news is that I have lost quite a bit of weight out of my face and I have yet to see much movement as far as the location of my eyes, nose, and ears...believe me...I check every day with a ruler!  The good news is that this irrational fear justified 2 pieces of cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory (as much as I plug them, I should be getting a kick back!).  What? I had to eat that cheesecake.  It was for the good of my face!!

Today's irrational fear, I believe has more merit than eyes falling out of socket due to lack of fat.  As you can see in the picture below, I have large eyes. Extremely large eyes.  This is something I was born with.  When I was in high school, my dad once commented that he liked Pugs and Boston Terriers because their bug eyes reminded him of me as a baby.  Now before you get all child psychologist on me and recommend therapy or are tempted to call my dad mean, keep in mind I am thankful for these comments:

1.  He said it in love. Obviously he loves me because he and my mom now own 2 pugs! Plus he puts up with my many, many, many phone calls regarding my irrational fear and the random stupid stuff I get waaaaaaaay  too excited about! 
2.  If I go to therapy and get all "healed" and stuff, that would make my eventual tell all book extremely boring and the royalties from book sales would be considerably less!

Back to my fear - What if I lose more weight in my face and my eyes bug out and I look like (no, not a Pug) but a cartoon character?? Don't get me wrong, I love Disney and Warner Brothers as much as the next person, but I have no desire to look like one of their characters! I will never be the chick that dresses up like Princess Leia to go to a Star Wars movie so why would I want to permanently look like I was wearing a costume...on my face??

 

Now on to the "Other Things" promised in the title.

I have been a part of the competition at my gym for 1 week now. Only 11 more to go!! I am finding that I am struggling with the most unusual thing. I never dreamed that my problem with food would be that I am not eating enough! I am not tempted by cookies, cakes, chocolates, ice cream (not even Ben & Jerry's Fish Food Ice cream with the little fudge fishies...), or fast food.  Nope! I am having a hard time getting all my calories in.  I do great during my work week and during the day, however after I get off work, hit the gym, and then come home, the very last thing I want to do is make dinner.  I don't get hungry until around 8:00 p.m. most nights and because I go to work at 6:30 in the morning, I go to bed around 9:00 or 9:30. That's right! I am one Early Bird Special and bingo game away from being a senior citizen (no disrespect intended)!  The meal plan I am supposed to stick to is:

Breakfast: Protein shake
Snack: Fiber One bar/granola bar
Lunch: Ham Sandwich (no cheese)
Snack: Protein bar
Dinner: Grilled chicken breast & veggies (the only green things I previously acknowledged were Skittles or M&M's)
Snack: 1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese

The meals that I am skipping are dinner and last snack.  My days off are the worst.  Those days I tend to skip 3-4 meals.  This will be a work in progress because starving myself will not have the desired results. Yes I will lose weight, but I will not be toned. When I waive to people, my skin will still be waiving 5 minutes later!

Anyone have suggestions on how I can make sure I don't miss a meal??  Who knew the "Queen of Binge Eating" would ever have this problem?