My cousin Ethan requested I start the blog again and who am I to deny my favorite Vandal anything his heart desires?? (no...Ethan I am not going to buy you a car, pay for college, allow you to have Grandma's BBQ without a fight, give you Gizmo, or take you to Tocano's for dinner. However, I will take you to the Dollar Store and let you pick out any 1 item you want!!!) In the spirit of not being able to say no to ANYTHING my beloved cousin asks me for, I am back after an 18 month hiatus from blogging about my weight loss journey and quest for "hotness". I am a little older, a little wiser, a little more self-aware, and a little less motivated than ever. Here goes nothing!!
So...back to the name situation. I don't know that "Moody Hotness" is really the objective of my weight loss. I mean the name doesn't exactly scream stability and sustainability. Let's face it, who wants to have "moody" anything. Talk about setting myself up for epic Oprah yo-yo dieting! One day my hotness is up, and one day it is down!! There is not a mood stabilizer (Ben & Jerry's or Cheesecake) in the world that could possibly keep up with the hotness mood swings that were bound to come my way with a weight loss blog called "Operation Moody Hotness". Then of course there is the "hotness" part. My goal is "hotness"? Problem! I was within 2 lbs of my cheesecake goal, didn't feel hot, saw a 245 lb, undesirable woman every time I looked in the mirror, decided my goal of "hotness" would never be achieved, and boys will never want to hold my fat, pudgy hand (slight dramatization), and promptly....QUIT.
What do I want then?? I want life. I want a sustainable weight and a life style that supports that weight. I want to feel beautiful not hot. I'm tired of the yo-yo and constant uphill battle that has been the last 4 years of my weight loss journey. I want to turn 30 in a little under 3 months in a little black dress, ready to take on what I am positive is going to be the very best decade of my life. I want to find the balance between my sordid love affair with Ben & Jerry's and my long term, committed marriage to carrots and low carb 1,200 calorie meal days. That's right!! I want my cake and I sooooo want to eat it too!! All while not gaining an ounce!! The time for yo-yo, "mood swing" diets and exercise regiments is over. Those days need to be gone like the train wreck that was my 20's. The future and my 30's are all about stability, sustainability, life and diets are not a crisis, and experiencing absolutely everything that I can possibly can.
Important Notes...
1. I have not touched cheesecake, cheesecake flavored, or cheesecake replacement food in 3 years. Until I reach my goal of 145 lbs, I will continue to practice cheesecake abstinence.
2. I am still going to my trainer and am still actively coming up with excuses to not go. I swear today's excuse was completely legit Brandee!! I will explain later (not for the world wide web to see).
3. I still find that the only green things I enjoy eating are Skittles, and M&Ms. The idea of celery, broccoli, kale (nasty, nasty kale), peas, and green beans makes me want to crawl into the fetal position and cry for my mommy.
4. I'm still extremely hard on myself, wish I could do better, wish I was better, and feel inadequate/unqualified to be writing any sort of weight loss blog.
So...here we go! First order of business...I need a new name for my blog. I welcome suggestions and ideas, so help me out!!
Operation Good Life Choices! :-)
ReplyDeleteI like your blog. I too am not super fond of the green things. There are nice healthy ways around that like multivitamins, Vitamin D, and fish oil coupled with lots of lean protein and carbs that don't suck (quinoa, brown rice, etc). I never could get on board with that salad/celery junk. I would never have lost weight if that was a requirement. It isn't that I hate vegetables. They can be nice to mix it up, but I just don't want them as a mainstay of my diet. I especially don't want them to be the majority of the volume that I eat. That doesn't mean I want Taco Bell to be that either, but I think a middle ground is finding stuff that is healthy but that doesn't suck. I think that's where you find the sustainability you're looking for.