Time Out

So today was Easter Sunday.  I love Easter.  I love the music at church. I love the cute Spring clothes. I love the peace in knowing that my Savior died on a cross, rose again, conquered death, and lives in me!! I love the feeling of renewal.

Today I cheated on my diet.  Now, those of you who know me, know that I do not do anything half way.  Nope! If I am going to cheat, I am going to go for the gold! Don't worry, no cheesecakes were harmed in the making of today's binge session! However there are some rolls, potatoes, cookie salads, and popcorn that took a beating!  I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of my wonderful Easter Sunday with my family.

You may be wondering why I am cheering this perceived failure in my quest for Moody Hotness.  Well, I needed to take a step back. I called a "time out" on my mission to gain some perspective. I had become obsessed with diet and exercise. I was so focussed on the scale and a stupid number that appears on a digital screen, that I was becoming seriously unhappy, frustrated, and just down right angry.  I wanted to quit every day last week and was starting to find this whole process pointless and a complete waste of time and resources.  All I saw was what I was sacrificing and not what I was gaining. I only lost 1lb last week for a grand total of 9lbs in 2.5 weeks and I was ticked.  The last place I wanted to be was the gym, but I forced myself to go.  I was going to beat it into submission if it was the last thing I did.  Needless to say, all that did was upset me more.

I needed today to show me my progress. I learned today that I can't eat like I use to.  I barely got through the plate of small portions I took!  I also learned that sugar is not my friend. I have a massive headache from eating things I haven't eaten in weeks.  I learned that food doesn't make me feel better any more.  It is no longer my source of comfort, joy, or means of celebration.  It seems strange to me that I find satisfaction in the fact that my stomach has shrunk so much that 1 roll, a small piece of lamb, some potatoes, and a small scoop of cookie salad, was almost more than I could get down.  I also love that I am not beating myself up for it.  I had an awesome day and didn't have to think about weight loss or working out. I got to enjoy my little niece, my brothers, my parents, and my sister in law. I got to laugh with my grandma and enjoy that she and grandpa couldn't believe the progress I have made since Christmas.  Today I was able to enjoy the work I have done and now I am looking forward to the work I am going to be putting in and the results I will see in the coming weeks!!