You are cordially invited to the Pity Party of Miss Lindsay Moody!!!
Where: Operation Moody Hotness Blog
When: All day every day!! The party never ends!!!
Theme: Please come equipped with a walk that is slower than most 85 year olds and accessorize with a slumped over back and slight limp. A permanent grimace every time you sit down, stand up, move, or breathe is also required.
RSVP: Not necessary. The more the merrier!
Party Favors: IB Profren, Icy Hot, Heating Pads, and an intense longing for Deep Tissue Massages (the "longing" is free, you will have to book and pay for your own massage!)
Yes, I know that I brought this whole extreme soreness thing on myself. Yes, I know that YOU believe that in the end it will be worth it, me...not so much. I firmly believe that instead of workouts that leave me wishing I could just amputate my insanely sore limbs using a dull spoon (pretty sure this would be less painful than what I am experiencing right now), what I really need is intense psychotherapy to determine why I have the need to pay to be tortured, leaving my body in a state of extreme distress. Perhaps electroshock therapy might be in order, or even a lobotomy!!
If you are going to tell me that in the end I will be thankful for my pain and that soreness is a good thing because it means my body is out of its comfort zone and there for working harder to burn calories - I will tell you this, "You're rational, well-informed logic has no place at my pity party." That's right! There will be no party poopers at my Pity Party!
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