For those of you who think I am overly dramatic, I have only one thing to say to you...."PSH!!!!!!" Just keep reading until you pass judgment. If you are not crying bitter tears of loss and emptiness at the end of this post, well then you just don't have a heart my friend.
Tonight I drove out to Nampa for the final of 7 (yes 7) family dinners. After a week of pastas, fried chicken, sticky buns, dinner rolls, potatoes, brownies, lasagna, and fruit salads, I am pretty sure I have gained about 10lbs. I am avoiding the scale. When I arrived at my Grandma's there were delicious, homemade chocolate chip cookies. I could smell their deliciousness from the moment I shut my car door. My mouth watered, my tummy grumbled, and I couldn't wait for what I knew was going to be the most glorious cookie experience of my life. Grandma NEVER bakes cookies any more and I was determined to savor each amazing morsel.
Well...
Things didn't go exactly as planned. As I took my first bite of the amazing cookie, I felt my body reject the sweetness and chocolatey goodness! This must be a mistake! These are Grandma's cookies!!! They are soo delicious!!! Naturally I decided to whip my body and taste buds into shape with a second cookie. Perhaps they are just not use to the rich blend of flavors that Grandma prepares with so much love. Again, complete rejection from my stomach. Now I was just torked. I mean seriously! Everyone around me was thoroughly enjoying the cookies! It was this point, I should have admitted defeat. I should have just raised the white flag and called it a night. But did I do this wise thing?? Of course not! It became the battle of the wills. Lindsay vs. Taste Buds/Stomach. Round 1 had started with one cookie. Round 12 came to crashing hault after 6 cookies and me lying on the floor moaning my defeat. Taste Buds/Stomach win by way of knock out, 3 minutes and 22 seconds into the 12th round! Now I am lying in bed wishing I was dead as, what feels like a Keebler elf, pounds tiny nails into my stomach. There are no such tears as those cried in bitter disappointment! What has happened to me?!? Have I really trained my body to reject the taste of sugar? Am I never going to be able to enjoy Grandma's amazing desserts ever again? Why Me?!?!?
As I stare into the future depressingly devoid of Grandma's chocolate chip cookies, I am not afraid to admit that suddenly the world has lost a bit of it's color. The joy has been taken from my step. And yes, it must be said, I may have lost my will to eat (at least until my stomach stops torturing me for those last 4 cookies). I guess I should just give up now and accept my fate of treadmills and endless sweat sessions at the gym. Speaking of which, starts again on Monday.
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