The Cleanse

Before Thanksgiving my trainer told me that I just HAD to do the Dr. Oz  3 day cleanse.  Apparently it not only cleaned out your system and resets your hormones, but also makes you run faster, jump higher, processes your taxes, makes a killer batch of krinkle fries, and gives you wings to fly! Ok, ok...I will admit that it doesn't do your taxes, but you get the point that this was supposed to be the cleanse to end all cleanses! Well, who am I to argue with Dr. Oz??  I quickly recruited my grandma to do this with me.  When I say recruited I mean voluntold.  While Grandma was in Arizona over Thanksgiving I bought a Magic Bullet and all of the ingredients for our cleanse.  When she landed I let her know that I bought groceries for the next 3 days and was excited to try out my new culinary toy!

I'll be honest y'all.  It did not go as planned.  I now know why Dr. Oz is so skinny! He starves! I have done cleanses before and never struggled like I did with this one.  I was extremely successful on the week long fruit and veggie diet.  What could be so hard about eating smoothies?? Well, let me tell you, it is not as easy as it looks.  I have eaten enough kale to last me a life time and if I never eat another chunky green smoothie again I won't be exactly sad.  I made it through to the last shake on day three and gave up.  Grandma was a trooper, but when I walked in the door after work tonight, she told me quite firmly that she was not eating that "stuff" tonight.  We had chicken tacos and after three days of not chewing my food and only being able to drink it, it had to be the best meal that I have ever consumed.

I am frustrated these days with my weight loss.  I am soooo close to "cheesecake" weight but I just can't seem to get my act together.  I have no desire to exercise or eat right, but sleep and laying on the couch all day sounds delightful.  I was really hoping that this cleanse would jump start my motivation and drive.  Instead, all it did was demoralize me and make me feel like a bit of a failure.  I am supposed to meet with my trainer tomorrow morning and have my weekly weigh in but the idea of standing on the device of torture and judgement (the scale) is less exciting to me than playing leapfrog with a unicorn.  I don't know what it is going to take but I need to get back at it.  I have come too far and worked too hard to quit now.  I am no longer excited about my size 7/8 jeans and am ready for size 5/6's. Who would have thought that I would ever get to the point where I felt fat and overweight in a size 8?  I can remember being a size 20w and wishing that I was a size 14! At any rate, I need to get going again.

I write this entry because I have been asked by many people if I ever feel like a failure or want to quit.  My answer...every day.  Every day, 5 times a day, I have to choose what I am putting in my body and whether or not I am going to exercise.  Sometimes I make good decisions and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't.  The important thing that I am having to remind myself of  is that it doesn't matter how big I fail or how many poor decisions I make, the next day is always new and I have to pick myself back up, put away the pizza, and get back on that treadmill.